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1. Can you get in trouble for not telling your girlfriend or boyfriend that you have HIV?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
Some people have gotten in trouble in court and have been prosecuted for exposing a sexual partner to HIV without disclosing to the partner.
Also, some people have gotten “in trouble” with their girlfriend/boyfriend when they later do find out about the HIV. For example, the partner is very angry, or feels betrayed
or is really scared that he or she got HIV.
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2. Does oral sex spread HIV?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
Semen and vaginal secretions of infected people contain HiV, so it is considered risky to do oral sex on a male unless he is wearing a condom, or oral sex on a female without a “dental dam” (piece of latex).
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3. Do my parents have to know if I get birth control?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
No, not if you are 12 or over.
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4. Does birth control affect my HIV meds?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
Hormonal birth control, such as the pill, can interact with anti-virals, so it is good to talk this over with your HIV provider.
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5. Can a teen girl with HIV get pregnant?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
HIV does not usually lower a female’s fertility. That is, she has the same chance of getting pregnant as a female without HIV.
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6. Can a man with HIV adopt a child?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
Yes, there are HIV+ men who have adopted children in California.
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7. My high school has a health clinic. If I go to it for something, would I have to tell them about my HIV?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
It is risky to seek most kinds of healthcare without letting the health care practioner know about your HIV. He or she might misdiagnose or not prescribe the right treatment for something (some common health problems need a different or stronger treatment if the person is immuno-compromised.)
It is especially important to disclose if you go to an Emergency Room because you’re sick. If there is no privacy to disclose this information, you can ask for a private place or even write it down on a note.
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8. How do I decide whether to tell a friend about my HIV?
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Response from Peggy Macy, MSW
It’s hard to know when to disclose to a friend. There are some ways to try to figure out how they might react. For example, you can test out the friend’s ability to keep a secret by telling a different secret.
It is sometimes possible to find out how the person feels about HIV by starting up a conversation witht them, when you see something related to HIV (on TV, a billboard or a newspaper article). This is a good issue to talk over with your parents, especially if you are a young teen.
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9. Can I get HIV if I’m a teen? Can I get AIDS if I’m a teen?
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Response from Mireya Herrera-Bayard, LCSW
Yes, teens can get HIV. HIV knows no boundaries and certainly doesn’t discriminate. The fact is that anyone can get HIV, from elderly men and women living in a nursing home to teens planning their next prom.
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10. How is HIV spread?
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Response from Mireya Herrera-Bayard, LCSW
- Having vaginal, anal or oral sex with someone who is infected with HIV.
- Sharing needles or syringes (works) for injecting (shooting, mainlining) drugs or for skin popping with someone who is infected with HIV.
- Mother to her child during pregnancy or childbirth or (rarely) through breast feeding.
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11. What is oral sex?
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Response from Remi Newman, MA
Oral sex is sexual contact between the penis and mouth, also known as fellatio or a “blow job” or between the vagina and clitoris and mouth, also known as cunnilingus or “going down on someone.” This sexual contact can include licking, sucking, inserting tongue, tongue flicking and kissing.
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12. Is oral sex safe?
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Response from Remi Newman, MA
No, unprotected oral sex is not safe. There are many STIs (sexually transmitted infections) that can be transmitted during oral sex, including herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea and even HIV.
Studies have concluded that infected bodily fluids such as semen and vaginal secretions have high concentrations of HIV and can enter the blood stream through the mucous membranes of the mouth. One such study revealed that in one group of newly infected HIV positive young adults, many reported their only sexual contact was oral sex.
This is why it’s important to use condoms for oral sex on a penis and a dental dam (piece of latex) for oral sex on the vagina. There are flavored condoms, flavored dental dams and flavored lubricants made just for oral sex. And they come in just about any tasty flavor you can dream of — from chocolate to passion fruit to bubble gum!
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13. Is it even safer wearing two condoms?
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Response from Remi Newman, MA
No! The friction of the condoms rubbing together could cause them to break or slip off. The same goes for the female condom — never use the female and male condoms together. One condom used correctly is the safest option. For instructions on how to correctly use a condom check out these websites:
www.plannedparenthood.org
www.teenwire.com
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14. I’m HIV positive. Can I have a baby?
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Response from Mireya Herrera-Bayard, LCSW
Yes, however without prophylactic drug treatment, your baby has a one in four chance of getting HIV. During your pregnancy and delivery, you can take a drug called zidovudine (also known as AZT). If your newborn baby also receives this drug, the chance of the baby being infected with HIV drops to about one in 20.
If you are taking special drugs for HIV such as a triple combination that lowers your viral load, it is even less likely that your baby will be born with HIV. If you are HIV positive and thinking about getting pregnant or are already pregnant, it’s very important that you discuss it with your doctor.
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15.
I’m HIV positive, but I’m really healthy and in fact have never really been sick. Can’t I stop taking these meds and have a regular life?
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Response from Mireya Herrera-Bayard, LCSW
We understand that it can be really hard to take so many meds and sometimes the side effects are terrible, but it’s really important to keep taking them. Achieving and maintaining a low viral load (amount of HIV in the system) requires maintaining a certain level of HIV drugs in the body.
Poor treatment adherence — missing doses or failing to take medications as prescribed — can lower the level of anti-HIV drugs to the point that the virus resumes rapid multiplication. That means the amount of HIV in your body can increase if you stop taking meds.
Poor adherence to therapy may also allow HIV to develop resistance to anti-HIV medications. When this happens, viral load goes up and CD4 cell counts can go down, signaling treatment failure. Successfully adhering to your treatment regimen by taking the correct dose of each of your anti-HIV drugs every day is the most important thing you can do to control HIV and prevent treatment failure.
So, as hard as it is, it’s really important to keep taking your meds. But if for some reason you’re determined to stop, talk to your doctor about it right away. Don’t just go off them on your own. And if you have trouble taking or remembering any of your anti-HIV drugs, your doctor will be able to help you with that as well.
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16. Does my boyfriend have to wear a condom if we both have HIV?
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Response from Remi Newman, MA
Yes! Definitely! Not only can you get a different strain of HIV from your partner, but there are lots of other STIs (sexually transmitted infections) out there you could catch as well.
And since you‘re already HIV positive, it’s much easier for you to contract other infections and harder to fight them off once you get them. And don‘t forget condoms provide protection against unwanted pregnancy as well. And they have no side effects, unlike other birth control methods.
There are lots of different brands and types of condoms out there (including the female condom that is inserted inside the vagina), so find one that works best for you and your partner(s). Lots of teen clinics, HIV clinics and other health centers give out free condoms, so they shouldn‘t be hard to find.
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17. I am 15 and may have gotten genital herpes. Where can I go to get confidential professional help?
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Response from Mireya Herrera-Bayard, LCSW
If there is a Planned Parenthood or a teen clinic in your area, I
would recommend calling them.
You can explain your situation without giving
your name and they can tell you whether or not they have to inform your
parents of your appointment. Most likely they will not (teens have legal rights to privacy) and most teen clinics and Planned Parenthood’s offer free or very inexpensive care, so you don’t have to worry about using your parents insurance.
If there are any other adults in your life that you trust and feel comfortable talking to about your situation, it might be a good
idea to talk with them. And also, if you can get a friend or trusted adult to
go with you to your appointment, it can feel good to have support.
You’re definitely doing the right thing by looking for an appointment with a
medical professional. Good luck and remember you're not alone.
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Social Worker at Children’s Hospital Oakland Immunology Department
Mental health practitioner who has been has been working with HIV families for over 15 years.
Sunburst Projects Bilingual Family Case Manager